Grow. Give. REST. REFLECT.
(The last 2 I don't do very well, hence the added emphasis.)
This past week was the first week of work for the students. The majority of our students are working at McDonald's (they are spread around about 20 locations), and a handful are working at Chic-fil-A, summer camps, and doing construction work. Meanwhile, for us staffers, it was our first full week of planning, training, discipleship, bible study, and other miscellaneous things. But here's the catch. We only have scheduled times from 10-12am where we meet as a staff team, and the rest of the day is unstructured and open for whatever we choose to fill it with. Whether that's planning, or meeting students for discipleship once they are off work, it can really be anything. Now, I will say that we have scheduled events every night once all the students are back from work, but as far as during the day, I get to make my own schedule and manage how I spend my time.
Again, if you know me well, you definitely know that I like structure, predictability, routine, schedules, the whole bit. I love it all. I love getting syllabuses at the beginning of the semester, I look forward to trip itineraries and schedules, and you can bet your bottom dollar that if it's happening, it is written down in my planner. As Josh likes to tell me, I am a total creature of habit. And quite frankly, i love it.
So, many of you might be wondering, "If you love it so much, then why aren't you at camp again this summer? Why are you trading your scheduled, action packed camp life for summer project?" Well, here's how the story goes. Last October, at Fall Retreat for Campus Crusade, Britton (our campus director at UT) told us students that he and Brooks would be the new directors of the Charleston Summer Project. Having a deep respect and love for Britton and Brooks, I turned to my friend and said, "Can I go on THAT summer project?" I said it mostly, joking, though, because most people don't go on summer project once they have graduated college. Well, then much to my surprise, Britton approached me that same weekend and told me that he and Brooks had been discussing who they would want as Student Staff with them in Charleston, and that I was one of those people. This was a surprise for a couple of reasons. First of all, I hadn't really thought about doing anything other than camp, because I love it, and that was where I was going to go. Secondly, I hadn't even been a student on summer project, so how was i going to be student staff?? All that to say, I told Britton I would think about it, but that there were no guarantees. Then to mix all this up, that same week, my Camp Director at Pine Cove calls me and asks me to be a Senior Counselor at camp this summer. Oh, and that I have ONE WEEK to think about it and call him back.
So, you already know the punchline, but let me tell you how The Lord guided me in my decision to go on student staff with Summer Project. Through talking to the Lord, my friends, and people who know me best, I came to the realization that Summer Project was something that The Lord wanted me to try and wanted me to look at as another chance to learn and grow in many many ways.
Camp is comfortable for me. I know what we are going to do every day, down to what meal and what outfit I am going to wear. My schedule is given to me, and I submit and serve joyfully! Now, I am definitely NOT downplaying the impact and incredible power of camp, but as far as what I needed this summer, I wasn't sure if that was it. Like I said earlier, I like comfort, routine, and sameness.
That's is exactly what summer project was NOT. After much prayer and a tears, I made the call to camp that I would not be returning this summer.Although that was honestly one of the hardest phone calls I have made in a long time, I felt entirely at peace. I was walking in obedience to where the Lord was calling me, even if I didn't necessarily want to, and that was on Summer Project.
After sending out quite a few support letters and watching the Lord financially and prayerfully provide SO abundantly through sweet friends and family, here I am, sitting in Charleston, SC, in my third week of Summer Project, resting in full assurance that this is where He wants me. Out of my comfort zone , and into a more full reliance on Him.
Why do I feel like I need structure? Why does everything have to be planned out? And when it's not, how does that affect my attitude? I am beginning to narrow it down to a few things. First of all, my desire for structure comes from my lack of trust in His plan. I don't necessarily have a reason to doubt His plan, but nonetheless my sinful flesh continues to micromanage every detail of my life, leaving hardly any room for His Spirit and for His perfect plan. I've also come to realize that a lot of my comfort comes from my OWN abilities, my control, and more bluntly, my Pride.
So here I am. graduated from college, with only the next 11 months mapped out before me until I have no idea what I am doing. And I am learning to TRUST and SURRENDER control. I am choosing to trust Him in the details and in my daily life and to trust Him with the big stuff. To live by His Spirit and realize that He will love me just the same, no matter what I do, how well I do it, or how much I do.
It's the Gospel, y'all.
God love's you (and me) and has a perfect, wonderful plan ,for our lives.
But we are sinful, and separated from Him because of our imperfection, and because of that, we cannot have a relationship with Him.
BUT God loves us SO much, that He chose to respond through His son, Jesus Christ, who died in our place, who took OUR punishment, who paid our wages, so that we could have a relationship with Him.
Choosing to believe that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior, we get to experience God's love and plan and we get to KNOW Him personally!!!
For it is by GRACE you have been saved, through faith, and this is not from yourselves it is the GIFT from God, not by WORKS so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:8-10
If I believe these things to be true, why do I try to run my own life? When I hold tight to MY plans and my agenda, there is no room for Jesus. I am a broken, sinful human being who needs a Savior. Praise God. Praise God. Praise God for saving me from myself and for having a greater plan then I could ever ask for or imagine!!
